Culture and context
Language and culture are inseparable. You can speak grammatically perfect French and still offend people by using the wrong register, greeting incorrectly, or violating unspoken social norms. This cultural intelligence — knowing when to be formal, how to greet, what topics to avoid — is as important as vocabulary for successful communication in French-speaking countries.
Tu vs Vous
The distinction between informal "tu" and formal "vous" is fundamental to French social interaction. This isn't just grammar — it's a marker of respect, intimacy, and social awareness. Using the wrong form can make you seem rude (too informal) or cold and distant (too formal with friends). When in doubt, use "vous" and wait for the other person to suggest switching:
Use vous with:
- Strangers and new acquaintances
- People older than you
- Authority figures and professionals
- In shops, restaurants, and services
- When in doubt
Use tu with:
- Friends and family
- Children
- Peers who've offered tu
- Young people among themselves
The switch to tu is often initiated by the more senior person: On peut se tutoyer ? (Can we use tu?)
Greetings
Greetings in France are more ritualised than in English-speaking countries. Not greeting someone properly — skipping the "bonjour" when entering a shop, for instance — is considered genuinely rude. Understanding these rituals prevents awkwardness.
Physical greetings
La bise (cheek kisses):
- Standard greeting between friends and acquaintances
- Number varies by region (1–4, usually 2)
- Start on the right cheek (varies by region)
- Light touch, often just air kisses
Handshakes:
- Standard in business settings
- Firm but not crushing
Greeting etiquette
- Say bonjour when entering shops, restaurants, elevators
- Greet each person individually in small gatherings
- Bonsoir in the evening
- Not greeting is considered rude
Dining culture
Food is central to French identity. Meals are social occasions, not just fuel. French dining has customs that differ from American or British practice — understanding them shows respect and helps you fit in.
Meal times
- Breakfast (petit-déjeuner): Light, around 7–8 AM
- Lunch (déjeuner): 12–2 PM, traditionally the main meal
- Dinner (dîner): 7:30–9 PM
Restaurant customs
- Tipping: Service is included (service compris), but rounding up or leaving a few euros is appreciated
- Bread is free and goes directly on the table
- Water: Ask for une carafe d'eau (free tap water)
- Courses come separately, not all at once
At someone's home
- Bring wine, flowers, or chocolates
- Arrive 15 minutes late (not too early!)
- Compliment the food
- Keep hands on the table during meals
- Say Bon appétit before eating
Communication style
French communication patterns differ from Anglo-American norms. The French value formality, intellectual engagement, and substantive conversation. What might seem cold or direct to an American is often just French conversational style.
Formality
French culture values formality and proper form:
- Use titles (Monsieur, Madame) with strangers
- Start emails with Madame, Monsieur
- End formal emails with elaborate closings
Directness
French speakers may seem direct by Anglo standards:
- "Non" is a complete sentence
- Debate and disagreement are normal
- This isn't rudeness, it's engagement
Small talk
French people engage in less small talk with strangers. Conversation tends to be substantive with people you know.
Safe topics:
- Food and wine
- Culture and arts
- Travel
- Current events (carefully)
Avoid initially:
- Income and money
- Personal questions about family
- Religion
- Overly positive enthusiasm (seen as insincere)
Holidays
Knowing French holidays helps you plan travel and business interactions. Many French businesses close on these days, and some periods (especially August) see widespread closures:
| Holiday | Date | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Jour de l'An | 1 January | New Year's Day |
| Pâques | March/April | Easter |
| Fête du Travail | 1 May | Labour Day (give lily of the valley) |
| Fête Nationale | 14 July | Bastille Day |
| Assomption | 15 August | Assumption |
| Toussaint | 1 November | All Saints' Day |
| Noël | 25 December | Christmas |
August
Many French people take extended holidays in August. Businesses may close or operate with reduced hours.
Regional identity
France is not monolithic. Despite a centralising tradition, French regions maintain distinct identities, cuisines, accents, and in some cases their own languages. Understanding this diversity helps you connect with people beyond Paris:
France has strong regional identities:
- Paris: Cosmopolitan, fast-paced
- Provence: Mediterranean, relaxed
- Brittany: Celtic heritage, distinct traditions
- Alsace: German influence
- Southwest: Basque and Occitan cultures
Regional languages and dialects exist (Breton, Alsatian, Occitan, Basque, Corsican).
Practical tips
- Shops close for lunch in smaller towns (12–2 PM)
- Most shops closed on Sundays
- Always say bonjour and au revoir
- Learn to enjoy long meals
- Don't expect ice in drinks